STORY
My Mom’s Letter
My mom was a sharp-minded, deeply-caring, and passionate free-spirit. She grew up moving around the world (Germany, Japan, D.C.), then moved to Colorado when she was 18 to be a hippie (one-room cabin, potato farm, goat named Rosie). Her love for the mountains inspired her to earn her B.S. in Geology, and then she moved back to Maryland before having me and becoming a Master Planner in a manufacturing company. She put her career on hold to be a stay-at-home mom when she had my sister at 42, and then she went back to school and became a Registered Nurse, delivering the commencement speech to her graduating class alongside world-renowned neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson.
She started her battle with lung cancer when I was about halfway through high school. She handled the ups and downs more gracefully than anyone could imagine. She planned family vacations out West, visited the Caribbean, organized and labeled photos, and talked with us openly about what we were going through together. She also wrote letters for us to have when she was gone...
My mom’s letter is three pages of words printed on 8.5x11” paper that I will treasure for a lifetime. It is a place to go when my heart feels the need to draw near to her. It is a reference point of her expectations and advice. It reminds me how much she loved me, and it reminds me who she was. The most incredible aspect of my mom’s letter is how its meaning has evolved over time; as I met my wife, moved around the country, had my first son, and then my daughter, and then two more adorable little boys. It shows me how she would love them, and how I should love them.
This letter didn’t just change how I thought about my mom, but it was such a positive force in shaping how I view life, and death being a part of it, as a whole. It is my testament in encouraging you to do the same.
My Story
LIFE LTRS started as a personal project - something I wanted to do for my family. I had one simple goal in mind: to ensure my family would feel as much of my love in their lives as possible, even if I couldn’t be there to share it with them.
I have always been drawn the idea of sharing love across time... Journaling to my kids in an adult-to-adult voice, so they could know what I was thinking at various stages of their life... Leaving quick love notes in random places where my wife wouldn’t find them until much later, knowing they would be a happy surprise to make her smile when she least expects it.
One day in early January 2021, I was thinking about how much I love the movie About Time and how well it connects the preciousness of love and time, particularly between a father and son. I thought about how cool it will be for me to share that movie with my son one day, and I started wondering what age would be appropriate for me to do that (he was six at the time). I began to think about other things that I might share with him at different points throughout life.
Then the thought hit me, “What if something happens to me and I’m not here to share these things with him?” Sure, odds are in my favor to be there; I’m young, healthy, and active, but there’s A LOT riding on that “what if”… I couldn’t help but think about how, if I were to pass early for some reason and I couldn’t be here to raise him, then it would only be so much more important for me to leave messages for him to know what I valued and would want to share with him.
I started picturing how this could work and what it might look like, and from there, my heart caught fire and flooded with questions, answers, considerations, and ideas. The connection to my mom’s letter was clear to me from the start, but there were other options to explore. So, I began to outline what I could put together for my kids, my wife, and my friends and family. I learned quickly that there is a lot to consider along the way. With each step, I felt led more and more that I could share my process and learnings with others, to help them write letters for their loved ones. I thought of the joy my mom’s letter has brought me throughout life, and I knew I wanted to help others experience this as well.
Holding in mind the joy this could bring both my own loved ones as well as other families, I started writing... Considering the lasting, positive impact this could make, I gave myself permission to get in to the weeds and details. I began asking other friends, family members, and life mentors if they had ever written, received, or considered writing letters like this. I went down every rabbit hole I came across - things like “what if your spouse gets remarried?” and “would a letter like this make your daughter cry on her wedding day?” and “what are the pros and cons of delivering letters like this tangibly or electronically?” I collected every thought, learning, and idea, not knowing exactly where this journey would lead but having full confidence that this was something I was meant to do.
LIFE LTRS Story
The collection of Guidance, Resources, and Inspiration that LIFE LTRS has evolved into today is my best effort to share what I learned through the process of writing my letters.
A good friend once taught me that one of the best ways to see where God is leading you is to look at what He has done in your past… For me, this was the piece that made all the other pieces fit together. Event after event, and story after story, past life experiences fell right in to context with the story LIFE LTRS was developing. Having a deep-thinking heart from a young age, being told I have a gift for writing throughout different chapters of life, losing my mom at a young age and seeing her write her letters. Reassurances came from passages from Scripture and Wild at Heart read at the perfect moments in time. Conversations with friends building off each other in perfect harmony. Pictures of the Grand Canyon or pink clouds showing up on some of the most important days in this journey.
With a little over 15,000 words written in a book outline type of document, it became clear to me that this project needed to change formats. While books are helpful, the moment a book is printed, it is finished and done. And this type of project should never stop growing. I knew that it would be far better to format this project as a living, breathing, website and community - a place where new ideas, stories, and examples could be brought to light and shared on an ongoing basis. I wanted to provide a place where members could suggest new ideas, navigate across different topics efficiently, download tools and templates, access inspirational materials, and even copy and paste text into their own letters with ease.
In August 2021, I began moving and restructuring my words to the website format that is now LIFE LTRS. I invited my closest friends and family members to try out the site, and more importantly use the site to write their own letters. I learned valuable perspectives from conversations over lunch and coffee with trusted advisors with diverse backgrounds - from a friend who lead camp retreats to a neighbor who is bravely battling cancer. The years following have been a continuous journey of learning, writing, and refining.
Where LIFE LTRS goes from here is still to be determined, but I do know that it has been a true blessing in any case just to bring it to this point. This is my passion and calling, and I would love nothing more than to spend my life sharing it with others. But still, even if this project only helps a few people write letters for their loved ones each year, then what an incredible thing to have done for other families in life!
Ask any parent and they will tell you the universal feedback that time is a thief and moves faster than any of us could ever imagine. I remember my mom talking about how parents always keep track of the first times (the first time your child walks, says its first words, looses a tooth, etc.), but how she wished that parents would keep track of the last times (the last time your child holds your hand to walk down the steps, sleeps in your bed, sits in your lap, etc.). It feels like these last times better capture the gravity of time and preciousness of life. The tricky thing is that you rarely know it’s the last time while you’re in the moment. In a way, this project feels like a way to bend the scale of time, like making a lens to help us appreciate what matters most.
This community and set of resources is the result of my journey, and I hope it is the start of yours. Your family will appreciate this more than anything else you can leave them, and the world needs more time-benders and deep-thinkers these days. I feel strongly that the world would be a better place if we all walked through life together thinking about the things that will matter most in the long run - what legacy we will leave behind when we pass on, how precious all the little moments are in life and how quickly they come and pass, and how we can share our most meaningful lessons learned in life with each other and our next generation.
My encouragement to you
You don’t need a “program” to do this.
My hope is that you will write your letters, whether you join LIFE LTRS or sit down on your own with a pen and blank sheet of paper. That being said, having a guide may help... The weight and scope of the idea and task at hand can be daunting. We all struggle with writers block, limited fields of vision, and lack of experience in certain areas. LIFE LTRS is designed to break this all down to bite-sized chunks, set a structure/sequence/priority to the work process, and put the best ideas in an easy to use template. If LIFE LTRS can help in any way, I would be honored to be a part of the process.
You don’t need to be a writer to do this.
There’s no such thing as perfection in a project like this. You only need to have love to share. Accept that perfect does not exist, and start writing. Anything you share is better than nothing. Do what you can, and show yourself grace. Be your candid self. This is who your loved ones will long to remember. They want the off-the-cuff thoughts that come out of your head. They need YOU, not a polished letter imagining who you aspire to be.
You don’t need to wait to do this.
If you build this up on your mind to be some sort of grand undertaking to take place over the course of several years, it will likely never get done - and this doesn’t help your loved ones. If you simply commit to start and write one letter every few days, you will create something priceless for your loved ones in a very short time. Don’t take the time and health you have now for granted - things can change so quickly. Start now. Refine as you go. Most importantly, GO!
With Love,
Michael K. Barron
Founder | LIFE LTRS
What’s your story?
I would love to hear where you’re coming from, what led you here, and how I can help with your next steps.
Please send me a note to connect.